First Post: Persuasion vs. manipulation?
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About a year ago I told my mom I wanted to be a hypnotist
“Hypnosis?! So you are learning to manipulating people!?” She said.
This is the response you get from a lot of people when you use the term hypnosis or especially covert hypnosis.
I blame Hollywood for the broad misconception of hypnosis, as well as old cheesy hypnosis ads from the early 1900s. Because of this most people think of covert hypnosis as mind control, making people do things against their will, manipulation, and brain washing.
So what’s the difference between manipulation and covert hypnosis or persuasion then?
Manipulation is when you are using tactics that are can be destructive and or “feel bad” to the person you are trying to influence. You see examples of this every day.
You see manipulation it in relationships all the time, you see it in businesses like network marketing companies, cults, churches, and the Military, even in social circles with little children on the play ground
Manipulation usually sounds something like this:
- If you leave the group you won’t have our love anymore, or Gods.
- Our select group is right and everyone else is wrong and stupid, so if you leave us you are wrong and stupid too.
- If you play with that kid you can’t be a part of our special club.
- If you break up with me no one will love you ever again.
- If you go learn from that teacher I won’t be your teacher anymore.
Those are all simple examples of manipulation.
The major difference between manipulation and persuasion is that manipulation could never possibly have the other person’s interests at heart. Yes of course someone could use covert hypnosis unethically, but covert hypnosis or strategic persuasion can be used for the other persons benefit when used ethically. Manipulation can never used to benefit anyone but the manipulator.
What is covert hypnosis or conversational hypnosis?
Hypnosis is direct communication with the subconscious mind. The persuader knows that this is the part of the mind that makes most of the decisions anyway. Most of what people do is an automatic response rather than a logical rational; there are a lot of studies to prove this.
Even the most basic sales training will teach that people buy for emotional reason and back up their decision with logic.
I won’t get into any specific strategies- but I will say that covert hypnosis is strategically using language, vocal tonality, and non-verbal communication to elicit a state from someone, and connect that state with a specific person, place, thing, or idea.
- I could use covert hypnosis to influence my little brother to get better grades.
- I can help my friends overcome fears.
- And of course I can use it to get people to buy things from me.
Persuasion in essence is capturing and leading a person’s imagination.
If I am providing someone with something that they want is it really that manipulative?
Of course not.
And it wont feel like the person is being deceived or I am forcing my will on them like a high pressure salesman but a person who opens them up to even more new possibilities and options. That’s what all conversational hypnosis is about, giving people more options than they are giving themselves.
If you can make people feel really good with just your words and you look out for others interests you aren’t a manipulator-you have a gift. If you can make a customer who is not having fun shift their mood such that they want and are excited about your offer AND you can deliver it who is doing who the favor?
It’s not important that you think about this in a way that you automatically fall into agreement with my views on persuasion, only do it as naturally and easily as it makes sense to you. Because the more it makes sense to you the more you find reasons of your own to learn more about this fascinating information. Reasons that will really benefit you and allow you to feel really good.
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