Persuasion Artist

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  Photo Credit: Beakers 

This is case study 1 of The Great Rapport Experiment of 2008: Matching and Mirroring Edition.  This is an experiment in persuasion to see what methods of influence work best in the real world.   These are all true stories and all subjects are real. 

A couple and my first case study for The Great Rapport Experiment of 2008 walked into my store today.

I remember reading in an NLP book from long ago that if there are two people who do you match, the dominant one, the one who is in charge of the two.  It sometimes is the male, sometimes it is the women, and it can vary depending on the purchase. 

In this case, the gentleman was the one leading the conversation and his wife was quieter and obviously looked to him for direction, so I matched him.  I began matching his movements.  I was sitting like he was, and placing my hands in the same way as he was.  It was interesting because as I matched him, I did notice feel the rapport and the trust increase.  He began to warm up to me, and we laughed together, we talked about things other than my product. 

Quick Side-Note: In sales if you have to bring something up off topic because you are trying to make conversation, like “so, how about them Lakers?”  or “what’s up with this weather huh?” it usually comes off as trite, insincere, and you will also look like you ran out of things to say.   But more importantly, you don’t have rapport and making small talk is a poor method to attain rapport.

But when the person you are trying to persuade brings something up that is off topic then you have rapport, they just want to chat with you means they like you.

The really interesting thing was that as I matched the gentlemen and the rapport with us increased, I noticed his wife adjust her movements and rhythms to match ours.  By that time, we were all in rapport, interesting. 

Rapport Case Study 1 Results: 

Rapport was created through what would appear to be matching and mirroring.  The technique of creating rapport with two people by matching the dominant person in the relationship, would appear based on this case study to be worthy of further investigating and experimentation.

Update a Week Later, Client Returns:

At the end of the presentation, these clients said they would come back within a week, with the person they were shopping for.

Naturally whenever someone says that it could be B.S. but I let them go.

They did come back, just as they said they would, and they placed an order.  The really interesting thing is that I did not intentionally match or mirror him this time because I already had the rapport, that I noticed that as we interacted, I looked down and we were matching each other!

It has been said that when you are in rapport with someone you naturally match and or mirror each other, this case study would support that claim.  Next time you are with your best friend or someone you love notice your movements and see if you are moving and gesturing as that person does.

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