Rapport Case Study 3: Matching and Mirroring Not Enough
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This is case study 3 of The Great Rapport Experiment of 2008: Matching and Mirroring Edition. This is an experiment in persuasion to see what methods of influence work best in the real world. These are all true stories and all subjects are real.
Young hip guy with a really strong frame comes in my store. He comes in trying to lead me around the store right away. The only strategy used was matching, and it didn’t seem to get me into rapport with him. I matched the way he held his hands and the way he sat. There was no anti-rapport, it was not that he didn’t like me; we just were not in rapport.
You can tell when you are not in rapport when someone talks to you resisting eye contact, or consistently turns their head or focus away from you, or if they move away from you as you move in closer, a lot of times they interrupt you when you are talking.
It is cases like this that will fuel the conclusion that matching and mirroring is simply not enough. This is where being flexible in your abilities and your approach come in, not everyone can be persuaded the same way, you can’t get rapport with everyone the same way.
Case Study 3 Results:
No rapport in response to matching and mirroring, at least not a high enough level to effectively persuade. He said he would think about my offer and come back. What I believe would have been helpful in this case would have been if I matched his laid back “hip” rhythm.
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