Persuasion Artist

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  Photo Credit: Reflection

This is case study 4 and 5 of The Great Rapport Experiment of 2008: Matching and Mirroring Edition.  This is an experiment in persuasion to see what methods of influence work best in the real world.   These are all true stories and all subjects are real. 

The concept of matching and mirroring is not a new breakthrough in persuasion; it’s been around since the seventies.  Because it’s been around so long, matching and mirroring is common knowledge amongst many sales people, and business people.  I have met furniture salesmen, realtors, even actors who never even have heard of NLP or the term covert hypnosis yet they know about matching and mirroring. 

Because of this, it is rare, but possible to get caught.

Here are some tips to prevent getting caught.

This subject in this case study was a business man in fact he was making business deals and was focused on an important business call as he was shopping around

I did notice that as I tried to mirror him, by crossing my arms and crossing my legs, which he immediately shifted his position as if he knew what I was doing. 

This all happened very quickly, and he may have reacted unconsciously, but the bottom line is this method lost it’s effect obviously in this situation either because he knew what I was doing or he just felt it was strange.

I can critique myself and say that I may have looked too much at the area I was matching.  Knocking myself in the head, because this should be obvious but it is easy to forget THEY CAN SEE WHERE YOUR EYES GO!

Case Study 4 lesson: 

Don’t obvious look at the area you are matching or mirroring.
If they fold their arms, don’t look at their arms and then fold yours, you will seem creepy and weird.  Use your sensory acuity, which means use your peripheral vision to see what they are doing without directly looking at their movements.

Rapport Case Study 5: 

The Subject in this case study was in my opinion an obviously unqualified prospect, lady came in asking about something our company doesn’t even provide.  Normally I wouldn’t waist my time with her but, for the sake of the rapport experiment, I said screw it and began matching the way she was standing and I noticed something.

 No breath taking results, but I did get some new insights on how not to get caught:

How to not get caught:

Move for a reason!  People ALWAYS move for a reason, whether unconscious or a conscious reason, the movement is usually a refection of some internal state or thought shift.  If you fold your arms for seemingly no reason AT ALL (except because you are trying to create rapport), people will pick up on this and then you are mentally projecting phoniness and lack of congruity, and it will just seem weird.

Instead make it seem like you are moving for a reason.  You can do this by making another small gesture that perhaps caused the next gesture which is the matching you are doing.

Any slight movement to distract them from your mirroring them would do the trick.

If she folds her arms and then you fold yours right away for what seems to be no reason it will seem strange.  If she folds here arms and you roll up your sleeves and then fold your arms it will seem more natural.

Another example would be if she puts her hands on her hips, perhaps you could tuck in a bit of the excessive fabric from your shirt around your waistline, and then put your hands on your hips.

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