I think it is funny how people email me trying to persuade me not to persuasion.
Let me explain. People from the internet are calling me insulting names, giving me examples of why conversational hypnosis is immoral, or they list seemingly logical but still ignorant opinions as to why you my readers should stay away from this evil persuasionartiost blog.
Isn’t it interesting that these are all persuasion methods? Not very artful ones, but think about that. They are using their language to persuade me to believe what I am teaching is wrong, unethical, or to stop writing about it etc.
Interesting, isn’t it that they are doing the very thing that they are telling me to stop doing.
“Without a trace of irony I can say I have been blessed with brilliant enemies . . . I owe them a great debt, because they redoubled my energies and drove me in new directions.” -Edward O. Wilson
Obviously I understand their complaints. Naturally this is not a blog on arts and crafts. I know what I blog about is controversial and I know I talk about things that ruffle people feathers. But just because their feathers are ruffled doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to stand my ground.
Here are some of the emails some of these people are using to persuade me to stop blogging about persuasion.
“What you call rapport I call manipulation!!!” –random angry internet lady
“Hmmm… Some of these ideas seem dangerous and immoral (manipulative) such as the hypnotic pattern speaking. However despite that there are good tips on subtle ways of building a real (not manipulative and controlling) rapport with someone.” –random logical, but ignorant internet guy
“I don’t like nlp, and as for me that is really stupid to use these techniques. You think too much and don’t know how to feel. That won’t make you happy… -Random person from the internet that seems to have confused NLP with cocaine… who probably looks like this guy:
Okay okay, I’m having too much fun with this, back to business.
So, my critics are accusing me of being in the business of manipulating people, as if it’s bad thing. To address this, let’s take a look at what our friends over at Merriam Webster Online have to say about manipulation.
Manipulation: 1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner 2 a: to manage or utilize skillfully b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage 3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose
Let’s now take a closer look at manipulation. By breaking the definition down piece by piece to see if it is indeed what this blog is about or not.
1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
In other words, it is manipulative to use your words or actions with intention of getting a result with others.
I have said it before and I will say it again, every human that breathes is in the persuasion business. Whether you are a salesperson who is dropping price to close a deal or a baby crying to persuade your Mother to feed you, you are manipulating. Whether you are using controversial persuasion tips that borderline the dark side or giving someone a compliment because you want them to like you, you are manipulating.
If you live on the planet Earth you are in the business of manipulating people.
2 a: to manage or utilize skillfully
Nothing in negative in here, although I do like this part of the definition of manipulation. I love the word skillfully. Skill presupposes experience in practicing proven methods of an art.
Wouldn’t it be nice if persuasion was a trained and perfected skill rather than something that happens by chance? Wouldn’t it be nice to be so good at persuasion that you would have a measurable and predictable outcome with influencing others? I love this game
b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage.
Here we go, the bad stuff. I can understand people resenting me for teaching something that gives persuaders an unfair advantage. Although when you have these unique persuasion skills on this blog you will have an unfair advantage in the sense that you will be able to smoke the competition.
The keywords of this definition are unfair and insidious, so let’s take a closer look at both of these words.
Unfair: 1. Partial: showing favoritism 2. Not fair; marked by injustice or partiality or deception; “used unfair methods”; “it was an unfair trial”; “took an unfair advantage”
The favoritism part obviously holds no weight in this argument so we won’t address that, but let’s talk about the deception part.
Persuasion is not lying to get what you want. The persuasion techniques that I teach even controversial strategies of covert hypnosis do not employ deception. I don’t condone lying; in fact I have a post on how to be a human lie detector. Persuasion Artists don’t lie, we influence.
Insidious: 1. Beguiling but harmful; “insidious pleasures” 2. Intended to entrap 3. Working or spreading in a hidden and usually injurious way; “glaucoma is an insidious disease”; “a subtle poison”
Ah so perhaps my opponents see persuasion artists blood thirsty Vampires luring in with our beauty in charm and then sucking the life away from our prey. Can persuasion be used for evil? Yes it could be, but that’s not what I do, and that not what I blog. I even have a disclaimer that warns people to not harm others.
And since when is gaining rapport and creating powerful connections harmful?
Forget about the methods of persuasion, for get about the embedded commands, the hypnotic language patterns, and the anchoring and all the NLP stuff for one second and look at what is underneath the methods. What is the outcome of these methods?
When I use persuasion the outcome is: a. Powerful human connection b. Positive human emotions c. Clarity in decision d. Positive expectation of actions
I can already hear them through my computer. “Wait Bill hold the phone! You are teaching these hypnotic language patterns that are unnatural to speak in, and since people don’t talk like that normally its unfair and manipulative because its hypnosis.”
Well at one point in your life speaking at all was unnatural and you learned to that did you not? Using hypnotic patterns isn’t something odd or foreign you are introducing to the brain. One of the most prominent purposes of the subconscious mind is to recognize patterns.
Our brain is internally programmed through association. Since we were born our brain starts to recognize pattern of stimulus through our senses. Pattern is defined as a repeated form of something. When something is repeated frequent enough our brain recognizes it as a pattern.
Once a pattern is recognized, our brain will try to associate it with something. It can be a feeling or biological response. Part of this what we call learning process, which also serves partially as safety mechanism for us. – Self Improvement Through Technology Blog
Because of this when you speak using patterns you are not speaking unnaturaly, actually you are speaking more organically.
I believe that persuasion and conversational hypnosis are not only one of the best ways to communicate with people; but I find it to be the way that people were designed to communicate together.
When you communicate with someone using some of the persuasion strategies of NLP and hypnosis, you are communicating with a person’s whole mind consciously and unconsciously.
It’s the difference between just talking with someone and truly communicating with all parts of someone.
There is nothing harmful in talking to someone in the way their brain was designed to process communication.
3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose
My own definition of persuasion almost matches this one, but with a little tweak that makes a huge difference in results.
Persuasion: to change by artful or skillful use of language, actions, and energy so as to serve the purpose of both parties. -Bill Alexander
Is it possible to persuade someone to do what you want and also get them what they want?
Only a fool would say no to that. With persuasion in dating, sales, relationships, etc. there is always a middle ground where both can win.
What if you are using persuasion to sell them a product that will really help a person that you KNOW is the best?
Who is doing who the favor?
“Oh if it was a great product them they wouldn’t need to be persuaded.”
A flawed premise, because if people only took action because it was good for them, everyone would be rich, skinny, healthy, happy and fulfilling their life purpose.
Sadly and truthfully we are creatures of habit, or pattern. And sometimes we need someone to come along and persuade us artfully and skillfully so as to change that pattern.
So am I manipulating people by using my methods?
Based on my definition of manipulation, hell Yes!
Are my methods dangerous, immoral and vile?
Hell no!
I’m still waiting for someone to artfully and effectively persuade me that my art of persuasion is evil. So far the people who have been emailing me in an attempt to persuade this Persuasion Artist to not use persuasion evidently need to work on their persuasion skills.
HEY! What are Your Thoughts About Persuasion and Manipulation?
Leave Me A Comment and Lets Chat
You are going to want to bookmark this one guys. I have compiled a list here, in no particular order, some of my favorite NLP, covert persuasion, conversational hypnosis, and covert hypnosis strategies.
This is one of my best posts on this blog to date. Never have I crammed so many different persuasion strategies into one post. I sincerely hope enjoy these juicy persuasion tips.
These strategies will not make you a persuasion master that is able to spin words into gold overnight, but it will give you a firm idea of what the most powerful and potent covert persuasion strategies are built upon, as well as reveal the fundamentals of the art and science of persuasion.
These persuasion fundamentals will plant some healthy seeds of knowledge in your brain causing you to continue learning and practicing the art and science of persuasion in a way that gets you the results you desire.
Some of these strategies might seem as foreign as learning Algebra in Klingon, but you can relax in knowing that everyone who has gotten powerful positive results using this material has been there as well.
Whenever I write a post like this, where I lay out the hard-core covert persuasion strategies on the table, I get a lot of positive and negative feedback. So I will take a moment to address the haters.
A lot of you critics and naysayers read this type of post and think “oh, that wouldn’t work one me.” Or “I’m so smart; I’ll catch someone doing that”
To all my un-fans and anti-readers, I say to you with a large grin on my face, how do you know these strategies won’t work? Maybe it will. Maybe you are the kind of person who always knocks things before you give them a fair and intelligent assessment.
Did you know that even now as you read this post there are people around the world using these same skills for sales, marketing, even seduction?
Well, I gotta tell you in the right context, in a way that wasn’t obviously manipulative, and with a persuasion artist who knows what he’s doing it can and will work. In fact, if you live in America it most likely already has worked on you through the media.
Even you don’t see yourself using these strategies of persuasion I would encourage you to at least learn the basics of persuasion so you will be aware of when it is being used you are being used on you in a negative way.
Once I learned these strategies I felt like Neo the first time he saw The Matrix. I was able to hear them all over the radio and in TV commercials; I could hear people who don’t study the art of persuasion using them unconsciously. Believe it or not, some people talk like this without ever reading one book on covert persuasion, we call them naturals.
I even heard one of the 2008 presidential hopefuls using one of these patterns! Trust me it, she is NO natural. LOL, and it doesn’t seem to be helping her too much in the primaries.
Bragging-Right 2008 by Bill Alexander
I will also say that I have full license to brag about all of these techniques, because none of them were invented by me. As a Persuasion Artist I paint the picture, but I didn’t invent paint. This article is not me speaking it is the ideas of from the results of decades of trials by hypnotists, therapists, NLP practitioners marketers, psychologist, masters of the mind and persuasion geniuses.
So when you really think about these covert persuasion strategies, you will naturally realize it’s not Bill Alexander speaking but the voice of wisdom, experience, and truth speaking through Bill Alexander.
Stacking stories is telling a story inside of another story, inside of another story so that the conscious mind can’t keep up with what is going on and goes into a light trance. Notice the way my article How to Combine Hypnosis with Stories for Covert Persuasion DYNAMITE is written for an example of this, as well as how to use hypnotic language with story telling as well.
Sub-Modalities:
This is an advanced strategy that I have not used yet, but would love to learn. Richard Bandler the co-founder of NLP discovered that people place different beliefs in different places in their mind.
For example, when you think of something that you believe is absolutely true you and you imagine it, you might see that image directly in front of you. When you think of something you wouldn’t like to do you really don’t want to do, you might see the image of it in the lower left corner of the screen of your imagination.
The neat thing for persuasion artists, is that we can use this by eliciting where they place in their imagination things that feel good, or things they take immediate action on and use language and or physical gestures to place ourselves or our product in that place. Or we could elicit from them where they put things that used to me true but no longer is true, and place our competition there.
I know this is heavy, so here is a video if Kenrick Cleveland displaying persuasion with sub-modalities.
Embedded Commands:
Embedded commands are commands hidden in a sentence and are marked out by a change in voice tone or physical movement and meant to deliver those commands to the unconscious mind without the awareness of the conscious mind.
Example:
What would it be like to get really excited about learning persuasion skills?
I’m curious as to whether you begin to feel curious about these covert persuasion skills to the point where you feel compelled to use them.
I wonder how quickly you’ll feel the anticipation to persuade and influence others where ever and whenever you want.
Values Hierarchy:
Elicit their values in a company, product, relationship, opportunity etc. Then ranking them in order of importance, and then stating them back to them in order of the least important to the most important, and as you use a tone that amplifies that feeling they get from the value it will intensify the feelings. Then you will link those intense feelings to yourself or your product using binder commands and or physical gestures. (see binder commands below)
Anchoring:
Anchoring is one of the easiest and most profound strategies of covert hypnosis. In essence you are creating an emotional button for a person, that you can push any time you want them to feel a certain way. You elicit a state, and then you link or anchor that state to a specific gesture, sound, or object.
An example would be using good tonality say “think of a time you self really relaxed, what was that like?” then as you see them going to the state make a unique hand gesture. Now every time you want them to feel relaxed you make that unique hand gesture.
This one you have to try to believe, but trust me it really works, and it is so easy you can probably do it today. You might not even realize it but when you say something that elicits a negative response from someone, or offends them, or breaks rapport etc. that person is going to unconsciously associate that emotion to you.
When you state something that gets a negative response from a person you can detach that negative response by physically moving your body from where you were sitting or standing.
An advanced strategy I am experimenting with is after I move from that spot I will point to it whenever I talk about my competitor.
A conventional persuasion strategy is to use the painting of a beautiful picture of what you want your prospect or client to experience with your product as bait, in such a way they are compelled to bite on the bait and take action. This works because people generally will not take action on what you want them to do unless they can clearly see what the outcome will look like for them.
Persuasion Artists take this strategy a step further. We use what hypnotists and NLP practitioners call time distortion. Time distortion is placing a subject mentally in the future where they are enjoying the decision they made and looking back on the interaction with you being the catalyst for it all.
In persuasion we do this by getting subjects to imagine that same bright future and then leverage that even more powerfully by making their self from the future look back on the image of us interacting as if it were the past and that working together, buying X product, or having X experience was what caused it all.
This works wonderfully because A. It elicits a light trance state for suggestions embedded commands to go into the unconscious without resistance B. It presupposes that they are going to love what you want them to do. and C. People do not resist a decision they have already made.
“Imagine a time in the future, and looking back on this moment having been the start of it all.”
Binder Commands:
This type of command works exactly in the same way embedded commands work, except they are used to link an emotional state to a specific person, thing, or an action.
Like me, to me, do it, now, with me, experience that, taking place now etc. are examples of binder commands
The other day I was talking with my friend Brenda and she was telling me a story about her girlfriend named Shelly, and she said “Isn’t it interesting when you are meeting someone for the first time and you suddenly reach that point in the conversation where something inside you just naturally clicks, it’s like a part of you can begins to realize that you really want to spend time with this person, while another part of you can look forward to moments where you’re laughing, and good times you’ll be having together. And underneath all of that you are just having fun and this causes you to begin feeling really good. With me it’s a little different, I really have to get to know a person first and then feel really and comfortable around them.
Tonality:
This is a simple, but vital part of the persuasion process. In order to be effective at persuasion, your tonality must match the state you are working to elicit. I call this congruence; I wrote a whole article on congruence called Beyond Covert Hypnosis: The Hypnotic Power of Congruence
Also, dropping your tonality to mark out certain words or phrases in your speech to bypass the conscious and send messages (embedded commands) directly into the unconscious mind of the subject or client. In the following example I put the embedded commands in bold:
“Notice this SIGN of quality. And you know we are offering you a good deal, if you HEAR what I am saying.”
Naturally the words Sign and Here would be where you drop your tonality. Obviously making SIGN HERE the embedded command.
This is finding out the unique behavior that this individual need to experience in order to take action. In sales I call this eliciting a buying strategy. You could ask questions like:
“Out of curiosity, have you purchased a product like this before?… and just so we are on the same page, how did that work or how did you know it was the right product for you?”
Then they might respond by saying, “oh, fist we did a little research online but that was frustrating, so we went to a few stores and heard the salesman’s spiels at different stores, all the prices were about the same, so we just bought from the salesman we liked the most. The product we chose seemed to fit our needs the most, and seemed like a good value, and it just felt right”
Now, what I do here is I cater my presentation to what I quickly gathered from them by eliciting their buying strategy.
In the example above I know that research online was frustrating so they might not be interested in detailed technical specs features, so I will make that part of the presentation as short and sweet as possible.
They shopped around so they obviously are price conscious, so I would do everything needed to convince them that we have fair pricing.
I would also get rapport the best I can because they seem to buy from people they like.
And finally I would use every covert persuasion strategy I have to elicit a state of a gut feeling that is just right.
Mirroring:
Matching externally the subjects vocal attributes, breathing, posture, physical gestures, representational systems, etc. is a classic way to gain rapport with people. You can also match values, by eliciting those values and simply agreeing with those qualities. See my article on rapport for more on this. See my popular article 8 Covert Methods to Instant Rapport and Charisma with Anyone Fast for some advanced matching strategies.
Presuppositions:
A presupposition is a statement or question that presupposes something or things have to be true in order for a statement to make sense. Combine presuppositions together for maximum effect, but only utilize when you are in rapport and have already elicited a light trance state, otherwise they will either overwhelm a person or you will just piss em off.
Example: “After we have talked about this opportunity and you find yourself completely compelled to buy, I wonder how easily you will find yourself imagining how good it will feel to work with us.”
Stating what someone else said and using that to create a state in a person, is one of my favorite tools because it allows you to say things that you might not be able to say directly. This works very smoothly because you are not saying the commands yourself, it is what someone else said, and therefore it generally is received with less resistance.
And even if it doesn’t get your outcome, you have separated yourself from it in advance. I personally have experienced my results with embedded commands go through the roof as soon as I hid my commands in quotes.
Example1: “The other day I was talking to another client of mine and she said right before she decided that this was right for her, she likes to just stop for a moment, and go inside and imagine just how good it’s going to feel to experience a product like this.”
Example2:The other day I was talking to my best friend John and he said, “Isn’t it interesting how a part of you can come to the conclusion that you really want this, while another part of you can begin to get excited about all benefits an experience like this provides.”
Creating Parts:
Have you ever heard someone say “Part of me wants this, while another part of me wants this” or “Part of me wants to go on a diet, while another part of me wants to just go home and watch TV.” This ambivalence is because people are running into their unconscious habit patterns. The conscious mind wants one thing while the unconscious mind wants another. You can use this psychological pattern to over come objections.
Get past objections by saying “I know a part of you wants to shop price, but I know that there also is a part of you that does want to buy this now. Because that part has heard everything were are talking about today and knows the value of what you are getting from us.” I then would build up praise and support that part to the point where the objection has no ground anymore.
Double Binds:
Double binds are giving someone two decisions but both decisions lead them to what you want them to experience. This illusion of choice is heard in the mouths of car salesmen across the country as they attempt to close their customers. “Would you like to buy now or should I just get started on the paperwork?” *sigh* please, don’t employ this direct and manipulative method it just annoys people.
Instead I use double binds to lead people into different emotional states, and I use it as indirectly as possible so that I don’t get any resistance.
I don’t know whether you are beginning to feel excited about this opportunity, or just feeling really good about or company, but either way etc…etc…etc.
Comparison Patterns:
The strategy here is to compare two similar but different sates (one of which is the state you want them to go in) and then you use describe that state and amplify it with embedded commands, language patterns, and presuppositions, etc.
“The other day my friend was talking about the difference between liking a product and loving a product, and he said…”
“Have you ever though about the difference between will and willingness, see a lot of people think they are the same thing but actually…
“Have you ever thought about the difference between anticipation and compulsion? ”
The art of pacing and leading is stacking truisms and then strategically throwing in suggestions to take them in a new direction. It’s pretty slick. You do this by stating undeniable truths a person cannot argue with in their internal or external environment. Then lead by adding a new idea or action you want them to take. Read my article Covert Persuasion Tip: Using pacing and leading to persuadefor more on this.
Softeners:
Some of the criteria and elicitation questions in covert persuasion can seem like strange questions when said the wrong way. If you are in car sales and you ask a prospect “what is important to you about a car?” in the same tone you ask what color car are you looking for? people will look at you funny.
If you are on a date and you ask “where exactly in your mind you do see us having a great time together” in the same tone you ask where are you from, it will probably be your last date.
Part of what helps this is having good calibration, which comes in time as you develop your persuasion instinct.
It is super easy to ask these questions when you use softeners. Before asking an elicitation question soften the question by tagging phrases in front of the question things like, “I am curios… I am wondering… just so we are on the same page… or I like to understand people I work with so just so we are clear…”
Tag Questions:
I was reading an article about an NLP trainer named Jaime who was telling a story of two girls from London arguing. She said that most of the girl’s sentences ended with the word “innit?” Now, being American to me “innit” sounds like a funny way to butcher the phrase isn’t it, but the NLP trainer recognized something profound underneath the language.
You see, “innit” is an abbreviation of “isn’t it”, & putting “isn’t it” on the end of a sentence makes the sentence difficult to disagree with, doesn’t it.
“Isn’t it” is an example of a tag question, & using tag questions is a great way of making it easier for people to agree with you &, after all, you want people to agree with you, don’t you. This seems to have something to do with the fact that you introduce a negative into the situation, & negatives get processed differently neurologically than linguistically (“isn’t it” is an abbreviation of “is it not”, which is a particularly cool / weird sounding tag question, is it not?.) -Jaime Smart
What I do is say tag questions in a commanding tone instead of like a question; I also nod my head which is a non-verbal cue for agreement.
Embedded Tag Questions:
Combine the power of tag questions and embedded commands and you have embedded tag questions.
Example: Don’t worry if these persuasion strategies sound strange or confusing, or even weird. Even if a few of these persuasion strategies seem a bit advanced that’s okay, because the more you read this blog the more it just makes sense. Doesn’t it feel good to have a resource like this to quickly and easily learn these persuasion strategies?
This was a great article wasn’t it?
What Are Your Thoughts Guys? I’m All Ears. Leave a Comment and Share Your Perspective.
They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.” -Carl W. Buechner
Many people want to learn how to use conversational covert hypnosis to be more effective in their persuasion. Don’t get me wrong, hypnotic language patterns are an important part of the covert persuasion process. However, I could give you list after list of hypnotic language patterns, and covert suggestions and commands, but if the hypnotic suggestion is not said in a way that really moves a person, it has no power.
It is not only hypnotist’s words but the way he delivers the words that capture and lead the minds of others.
I am going to give you a persuasion tip so valuable that if you learned only this one skill, you would be more persuasive and more influential than someone who knows all of the slickest hypnotic language patterns.
People are Moved by Congruence
A lot of people hear the word persuasion or covert hypnosis and their gut reaction is to associate it with doing and saying things that are sneaky and manipulative where hidden underneath your words is some malicious agenda.
To me, persuasion is all about the opposite of what most people perceive it to be. The greatest persuasion artist I have ever known was also the most honest.
I know it might sound hokey, but I firmly believe to be that top salesman, or charming and charismatic person you want to be socially, you must speak from a sincere heart. In persuasion what we call this authenticity is congruence.
In psychology and NLP (Neuro-linguistic programming), congruence could be defined as rapport within oneself, or internal and external consistency, perceived by others as sincerity or certainty. - Wikipedia
If you want to move, persuade and influence people you must speak with congruence. Congruence is when your words match your overall vibe.
When you persuade with congruence you radiate a confidence and conviction in yourself and your product that makes you irresistible to your prospects.
Fundamentally the key to being congruent is believing in yourself, and your product. Obviously, if you don’t believe in your product then you really shouldn’t be selling it.
There is another level of congruence that I would like to share and that is at the level of the hypnotic language patterns. As you study covert hypnosis you will realize that you are using precise language that speaks to people’s imagination and emotions.
Hypnotic language patterns are not magical words that if you say they will automatically put someone into a buying trance. The patterns must be used with skill and art in order to be effective.
I have heard some people say that they tried using language patterns, and they did not work, or they felt weird talking like that. In my experience if someone is struggling with language patterns in their persuasion, 90% of the time it’s because they are being incongruent.
Imagine a man using these language patterns to attract a women. Imagine him as a guy who has a wimpy high toned voice, his voice trembles with insecurity as he speaks, he also can’t make direct eye contact with a beautiful woman for more than half a second, and his knees are shaking with immense fear.
Now imagine him using the seductive and romantic lines of legendary lover of Don Juan DeMarco to attract the woman.
The girl would probably laugh in his face, as heobviously is trying to be someone he is not.Naturally he would sound incongruent.
He would be epitome incongruence.
Here is another example. The following phrase is a hypnotic language pattern called time distortion:
”Imagine a time in the future where you are successful working with our company, and looking back on this moment as having been the start of it all “
Now if you are using this pattern and you are genuinely excited for this person, because you have a legit solution you will naturally in your mind go into the future with them and your excitement will power the pattern and multiply the effects.
Obviously if you are in your head saying “I hope they like me” or “this is the 12 client I’ve met with today, just buy them damn thing already”, or “gee, I hope this sneaky covert hypnosis stuff I learn from Bill works” you are not being congruent.
How do you fuel your words with congruence?
Here is a Secret I Learned from Watching Actors about Congruence
Good actors are some of the world’s most powerful hypnotists. A good movie will make you go into a trance of laughter, attraction, fear etc. Think of a movie you really enjoyed, what were the strong emotions you felt, even though your conscious mind knows it’s all fake!
Now, good actors are not just reciting memorized lines and then thinking up a cool way to say the line. That would bore the heck out of the audience and themselves after the first few performances; some actors have to do plays hundreds of times.
How to they keep that emotion alive? How do they keep the audience engaged? Many of them use a strategy called theMeisner technique where they make themselves really feel the emotion from something they have personally lived.
If an actor’s character is in love, they think of a time when they were in love in their real world. If the actor is enraged, they think about what really would upset them. They do this in such a way that it doesn’t even become ‘acting’ in the pretending sense. They use their imagination in such a way that they are going through a real and powerful emotional state inside.
As a result they move the audience to those same powerful emotional states as well.
Creating Powerful Emotions Inside People’s Minds with Congruence
When you are using the hypnotic language patterns I would encourage you to use a similar strategy as actors to move people to powerful emotional states.
The persuasion mantra here is: You can’t lead anyone into an emotion unless you go there yourself first.
As you say the language pattern feel for yourself what you are describing and it will naturally lead them there as well.
If you are using a cause and effect language pattern to induce excitement in your prospect by saying, “speaking with me today about this opportunity causes excitement” think of a time when you were excited, feel your own excitement and speak the language pattern through that emotion.
After all people aren’t only buying your product; they are buying the feeing that your product will give them. Anyone in sales has heard the famous sales philosophy; people buy for emotional reasons.
When you get yourself emotional about what you are selling and allow yourself to feel the energy of the positive powerful emotions behind every hypnotic phrase you will be congruent. And the more congruent you are the more you will get the results you want in persuasion. In such a way that you will quickly notice your sales, success and income increase to levels beyond what you thought was possible.
It has been an interesting week, the article I wrote last Thursday 8 Covert Methods to Instant Rapport and Charisma with Anyone Fast got me more love mail and more HATE mail than any thing I have ever written on Persuasion Artist. And in the past week I had over ten times the traffic to my blog than I did all of last month!
Thank you to everyone who read the posts and left comments, you are appreciated.
However, I do need to address something important with you.
If you have been on my blog for more than 20 seconds you know that I am teaching highly advanced and strategies of conversational covert hypnosis.
Sometimes I wonder if I should be sharing this information, not because covert hypnosis is dangerous, not because covert hypnosis is manipulative, and not because I spilled the beans on some underground top secret hypnosis intelligence and the covert hypnosis secret society has put a hit out on me.
The reason that I sometimes wonder if I should be sharing these things is because most people don’t understand what hypnosis really is.
This is obvious to me when I get comments and emails from people saying that what I am sharing here is immoral, manipulative, or just hocus pocus mumbo jumbo.
And I can understand that logic because society has been socially programmed by the media for many years on what hypnosis is not. With displays of mind control and making people do things against their will, and people barking like dogs.
So, if I may get one thing straight.
If hypnotists could make people do things against their will then it would be a hell of a lot harder find information on the subject, I would not be sharing it on a freaking blog of all things, and hypnosis would be the most tightly guarded secret in the universe.
Currently on the planet Earth hypnotic language is not a magic spell no matter what Hollywood would have you believe. So if you were hoping I’d eventually share a magical script to say to someone to get them to do your bidding you will be extremely disappointed.
Conversational hypnosis is much more complex than memorized scripts, much more beautiful than that, and much more fulfilling than that. Hypnotic language is about connection, it’s about making others feel good, it’s about using our beautiful minds, it’s about passion. And the more you study these techniques with me or with any other teacher the more you will realize there is nothing creepy or manipulative about it
The biggest secret of hypnosis is that all powerful communication is some form of hypnosis.
Is this powerful communication dangerous or unethical?
In just the way fire can be used to cook a meal, it can also be used to burn down a house; hypnosis can be used for good or evil. Martin Luther King was a powerful hypnotist and so was Hitler.
But, yes there is a dark side of persuasion and hypnosis, which I am going to write an article on next week, so you will know how to protect yourself if anyone is trying to manipulate you using these strategies.
Furthermore, I would encourage you to really look inside yourself and think deeply about how you can use persuasion and influence.
Whether you are a casual reader or someone who goes out into the world and uses these methods; I would encourage you to use influence and persuasion strategies for good and not for evil.
I am having some exciting things come up in the next few weeks, more case studies, an online forum, experiments that the readers and I can all do together, I’m working on a podcast, and even some contests.
I really am interested in creating an online community of people who are passionate about this beautiful technology of persuasion and influence and excited about what we can all learn from each other.
I’ll keep ya posted.
My name is Bill Alexander, I am a hypnotist, and I love that I have learned a rare skill that enables other people around me to feel really good. I apologies to no one for my passion and my desire to learn this technology.
You want to be more persuasive, that’s probably why you are on this blog. Perhaps because you want to increase your sales and income or because you want to win friends and influence people, or perhaps you want to present yourself in a more attractive way to the opposite sex.
Thinking about the objectives you have, and thinking about using persuasion and influence skills to obtain those objectives, eventually leads you to learning rapport strategies. Because unless you have rapport with people you are trying to influence, you might as well throw any other persuasion, covert hypnosis, or influence skill out the window.
You probably have heard about matching and mirroring, and maybe some other NLP based rapport techniques. I am going to share with you 8 advanced and powerful rapport strategies that you probably haven’t heard of before.
As powerful as these rapport strategies are, they are not silver bullets. These methods will work best depending on the situation you are in, because all situations are unique. However, you will notice the more you use them the more people will find themselves drawn to you and you will become extremely persuasive and irresistibly charismatic.
1. Match the Other Persons Breathing.
When done properly matching and mirroring a persons physical gestures is effective at gaining rapport. What I have found is when it comes to mirroring, the more unconscious the gesture is, i.e. the more it is out of the persons conscious awareness, the more it has an impact on rapport. This is why mirroring someone breathing is so effective, in normal conversation people don’t think about their breathing.
When I first heard this method it sounded really hard, how do you notice the rhythm of someone’s breathing without staring at the person’s chest?
Especially with females this seems like it would be a problem.
Here’s what you do, when people are speaking they are breathing out, so when they stop speaking most of the time they are breathing in. To match their breathing, breathe out when they are speaking and breathe in when they stop talking.
2. Mirror Facial Expressions
This is one of the easiest ways to match someone because unless you are being really ridiculously obvious, there is no way to get caught. Simply because the only way they can see what facial expression they are giving is you have a mirror up against their face.
P.S. This is also one of the best ways to test for rapport too. If you want to see if you have rapport with someone make a slight change in your face, I squint when I am stressing a point, and see if they follow by making the same face. You will be amazed at this, believe me it works – really good.
3. State Truisms in Their Reality
If you state something that is obviously true, their unconscious mind will recognize you as a truthful person and you will gain rapport. You want to say things that they cannot contest; this will get them into an agreeable state of mind. Truisms typically can be anything that is observable in the current environment. For example:
“We’re here and we are obviously looking at this type of product.” or “I noticed you were over here standing by this product on and earlier you were looking at the product over there” or “We have a lot of customers in here today” or “You look like you are pressed for time”
If you are good at calibrating you might even be able to state a truism about what they are thinking.
For example when your prospect hears the price, and their eyes get big, and they take a step back, and it’s obvious they have a concern about price. You can say, “The other day I had a client who asked me about the prices and he said at fist he thought our price seemed to be more than he expected…”
4. Use Hypnotic Language Patterns to Increase Rapport
This is a more advanced strategy, and I will recommend some practice alone before application in the real world. I would only use it if you already have at least a little rapport, and then stack it in to the over all method to dramatically increase rapport.
“As we are talking today naturally we will begin to open up to each other, the more we talk you are going to notice how much more connected we become, you may or may not be aware that underneath those questions is the desire to connect with a person, or it’s not important to feel that connection now, only that you feel it as naturally and easily as you find reasons to feel connected, don’t you agree.
Language patterns are great because they presuppose you already have or quickly will be in rapport, and it is very difficult people to resist things that are inevitable For more on how to use and create your own language patterns see my article How to create your own Covert Hypnotic Language Patterns.
5. Use Descriptive Language to Increase Rapport
Some persuasion gurus say this works like magic, others say it’s as useful as having an ear on your elbow. I say ANYTHING can be appropriate under the right circumstances. Why thrown out a tool all together.
Descriptive language is effective, because it entails trance phrases, a little story telling, stating truisms, as well as hypnotic language patterns:
“Have you ever met someone first time, and you just found yourself feeling really connected to them. Maybe because you just feel it in your gut or maybe because they say something that really just resonates with you just can’t explain it, but for whatever reason you naturally find yourself just being drawn it this person, almost to the point where it seemed like the rest of the world just disappears, and time stands still, and all you feel all you experience is the power and the warmth of that connection?”
I realize this might sound funny in your head as you are reading it, this is an extreme example for sake of stressing the point of how to apply this. Anytime you describe an unconscious process the person will feel at least a little of that process, if you tonality is congruent and it makes sense to bring up conversationally.
Everyone has a unique nonverbal hello. It could be the way you nod your head, the way you smile when you greet people, or even a unique eye movement.
The rapport strategy here is to greet a person without giving them your unconscious hello, and when they give you theirs you immediately mirror it back at them.
Sounds simple right?
I gotta tell ya of all the strategies I am sharing with you about rapport in this post, the unconscious hello, if one of my favorites and in my experience it has also been one of the most powerful.
As simple as it sounds this one has been difficult for me personally to master. It requires focus and excellent calibration skills. But when I do it correctly with clients and people I meet socially it works better than many of the other rapport strategies combined!
It creates such instant and powerful rapport that the other strategies of rapport become unnecessary to use.
This technique is so complex it deserves it’s own post, and or video. In the mean while if you want to learn more about the unconscious hello search the archives in the NLP Connections Forum or go to a Kenrick Cleveland Max Persuasion seminar, he is the only one I know of who teaches this strategy.
7. Constructive Imaginary Experiences
A forewarning, this one gets a little woo woo. But as new-agey as it will sound, a lot of popular persuasion gurus have some type of method like this they teach. It works like this, as you are focusing on the person you want to gain rapport with, in your imagination see or feel some type of positive imaginary experience associated with them.
Kenrick Cleveland in his Max Persuasion course offers the experience of imagining a beam of light shooting into their eyes that works to connect you together. Tom and Kim of essential skills.com use a golden bubble of light surrounding the other person that opens the door way to rapport
I know this can sound like a bunch esoteric B.S., but I think there is a practical “planet earth” explanation for it.
One of the fundamental principles of NLP is that anyone can do anything if they are in the right mental and emotional state.
I think constructing imaginary experiences like this work because they change your internal state. When you are focusing, getting the deal, how you look, or wondering if they like you are in a state that hinders rapport. When you imagine surrounding someone with warm positive energy you are focusing on rapport and connection and most importantly THEM.
I think people can sense when you are looking at them as a piece of meat or a walking dollar. People can also sense when you care. It’s all in your state.
Some people try to explain this method by getting into chi, energy, psychic influence, and all other sorts of pseudo scientific reasons as to why this method is so effective. I would rather not get into that. I just care about results and I am sure you do to. Try is, if it works you have another tool to gain rapport.
8. Anchoring to Gain Rapport
In NLP, they call this high jacking anchors. Go watch Tony Robbins live or on DVD and you will see an example of the world most notorious anchor high jacker. He will be speaking, and he’ll go off on a motivational tangent and he’ll mention something about Buddha or Jesus Christ. Watch what he does with his hands. Whenever he says Jesus, or Buddah or any other person from history that he knows has a huge impact on many people, he will point to himself.
Now, this works for Tony because he is already in a frame where he is a powerful leader and teacher and he is saying it while surrounded my hundreds of people. So it’s not that big of a stretch for him.
I wouldn’t go around to people on the street and saying JESUS! while pointing to your chest, you’ll probably look like you escaped from a mental institution.
Here is how you can use it in the real world. Say you are meeting some one for the first time and you want to gain rapport you could say “I had such a great day the other day I went fishing with my best buddy Mike… Ya know, what it’s like when you are with your best friend (gesture to yourself) it’s really a nice way to spend your day off”
What do you think? Do you Have a Question About Any of These Rapport Strategies? Would You Like to Share How You Would Use The Rapport Strategies? If So Please Leave a Comment in the comment Box Below- Thanks for Reading My Article! -Bill
Hello, my name is Bill "Persuasion Artist" Alexander. I am an avid student of persuasion and Influence.
I have a strong fascination for the mind, and I am passionate about the words, actions, and energies that influence the minds of others.
This is a blog of my insights on capturing and leading the imaginations of others using psychology, hypnosis, NLP, suggestion, and subconscious communication. I’ve been called a genius and I’ve been called dangerous.
All powerful forces can be used for good or evil. I encourage my readers to use these strategies for good and not in a harmful and manipulative way. Please see my Warning for more on ethics and persuasion.
Keep an open mind, feel free to ask me anything, I respond to all comments quickly, and I encourage and welcome intelligent discussion and debate. The content here is all free, so enjoy.
More
photo credit: coffee break
