Persuasion Artist

If you're new here, you may want to subscribe to my RSS feed. Thanks for visiting!

photo credit: coffee break

I think it is funny how people email me trying to persuade me not to persuasion. 

Let me explain.  People from the internet are calling me insulting names, giving me examples of why conversational hypnosis is immoral, or they list seemingly logical but still ignorant opinions as to why you my readers should stay away from this evil persuasionartiost blog.

Isn’t it interesting that these are all persuasion methods? Not very artful ones, but think about that. They are using their language to persuade me to believe what I am teaching is wrong, unethical, or to stop writing about it etc.

Interesting, isn’t it that they are doing the very thing that they are telling me to stop doing. 

“Without a trace of irony I can say I have been blessed with brilliant enemies . . . I owe them a great debt, because they redoubled my energies and drove me in new directions.” -Edward O. Wilson

Obviously I understand their complaints.  Naturally this is not a blog on arts and crafts.  I know what I blog about is controversial and I know I talk about things that ruffle people feathers.  But just because their feathers are ruffled doesn’t mean I don’t have the right to stand my ground.

Here are some of the emails some of these people are using to persuade me to stop blogging about persuasion.

“What you call rapport I call manipulation!!!” –random angry internet lady

“Hmmm… Some of these ideas seem dangerous and immoral (manipulative) such as the hypnotic pattern speaking. However despite that there are good tips on subtle ways of building a real (not manipulative and controlling) rapport with someone.” –random logical, but ignorant internet guy

“I don’t like nlp, and as for me that is really stupid to use these techniques. You think too much and don’t know how to feel. That won’t make you happy…  -Random person from the internet that seems to have confused NLP with cocaine… who probably looks like this guy:

photo credit: Wierd, Angry People 

Okay okay, I’m having too much fun with this, back to business.

So, my critics are accusing me of being in the business of manipulating people, as if it’s bad thing.  To address this, let’s take a look at what our friends over at Merriam Webster Online have to say about manipulation.

Manipulation:  1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
2 a: to manage or utilize skillfully b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage
3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose

Let’s now take a closer look at manipulation.  By breaking the definition down piece by piece to see if it is indeed what this blog is about or not.

1: to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner

In other words, it is manipulative to use your words or actions with intention of getting a result with others.

I have said it before and I will say it again, every human that breathes is in the persuasion business.  Whether you are a salesperson who is dropping price to close a deal or a baby crying to persuade your Mother to feed you, you are manipulating.  Whether you are using controversial persuasion tips that borderline the dark side or giving someone a compliment because you want them to like you, you are manipulating.

If you live on the planet Earth you are in the business of manipulating people. 

2 a: to manage or utilize skillfully

Nothing in negative in here, although I do like this part of the definition of manipulation.  I love the word skillfully.  Skill presupposes experience in practicing proven methods of an art. 

Wouldn’t it be nice if persuasion was a trained and perfected skill rather than something that happens by chance?  Wouldn’t it be nice to be so good at persuasion that you would have a measurable and predictable outcome with influencing others?  I love this game

b: to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage.

Here we go, the bad stuff. I can understand people resenting me for teaching something that gives persuaders an unfair advantage.  Although when you have these unique persuasion skills on this blog you will have an unfair advantage in the sense that you will be able to smoke the competition. 

The keywords of this definition are unfair and insidious, so let’s take a closer look at both of these words.

Unfair: 
1.  Partial: showing favoritism
2.  Not fair; marked by injustice or partiality or deception; “used unfair methods”; “it was an unfair trial”; “took an unfair advantage”

The favoritism part obviously holds no weight in this argument so we won’t address that, but let’s talk about the deception part.

Persuasion is not lying to get what you want. The persuasion techniques that I teach even controversial strategies of covert hypnosis do not employ deception.  I don’t condone lying; in fact I have a post on how to be a human lie detector.  Persuasion Artists don’t lie, we influence. 

Insidious: 
1.  Beguiling but harmful; “insidious pleasures”
2. Intended to entrap 3.  Working or spreading in a hidden and usually injurious way; “glaucoma is an insidious disease”; “a subtle poison” 

Ah so perhaps my opponents see persuasion artists blood thirsty Vampires luring in with our beauty in charm and then sucking the life away from our prey.  Can persuasion be used for evil?  Yes it could be, but that’s not what I do, and that not what I blog.  I even have a disclaimer that warns people to not harm others.

And since when is gaining rapport and creating powerful connections harmful?

Forget about the methods of persuasion, for get about the embedded commands, the hypnotic language patterns, and the anchoring and all the NLP stuff for one second and look at what is underneath the methods.  What is the outcome of these methods?

When I use persuasion the outcome is:
a. Powerful human connection
b. Positive human emotions
c. Clarity in decision
d. Positive expectation of actions

I can already hear them through my computer.  “Wait Bill hold the phone! You are teaching these hypnotic language patterns that are unnatural to speak in, and since people don’t talk like that normally its unfair and manipulative because its hypnosis.”

Well at one point in your life speaking at all was unnatural and you learned to that did you not?  Using hypnotic patterns isn’t something odd or foreign you are introducing to the brain.  One of the most prominent purposes of the subconscious mind is to recognize patterns.

Our brain is internally programmed through association. Since we were born our brain starts to recognize pattern of stimulus through our senses. Pattern is defined as a repeated form of something. When something is repeated frequent enough our brain recognizes it as a pattern.

Once a pattern is recognized, our brain will try to associate it with something. It can be a feeling or biological response. Part of this what we call learning process, which also serves partially as safety mechanism for us. – Self Improvement Through Technology Blog

Because of this when you speak using patterns you are not speaking unnaturaly, actually you are speaking more organically.

I believe that persuasion and conversational hypnosis are not only one of the best ways to communicate with people; but I find it to be the way that people were designed to communicate together.

When you communicate with someone using some of the persuasion strategies of NLP and hypnosis, you are communicating with a person’s whole mind consciously and unconsciously. 

It’s the difference between just talking with someone and truly communicating with all parts of someone. 

There is nothing harmful in talking to someone in the way their brain was designed to process communication.

3: to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose

My own definition of persuasion almost matches this one, but with a little tweak that makes a huge difference in results.

Persuasion:  to change by artful or skillful use of language, actions, and energy so as to serve the purpose of both parties.  -Bill Alexander

Is it possible to persuade someone to do what you want and also get them what they want? 

Only a fool would say no to that.  With persuasion in dating, sales, relationships, etc. there is always a middle ground where both can win.

What if you are using persuasion to sell them a product that will really help a person that you KNOW is the best?

Who is doing who the favor?

 “Oh if it was a great product them they wouldn’t need to be persuaded.” 

A flawed premise, because if people only took action because it was good for them, everyone would be rich, skinny, healthy, happy and fulfilling their life purpose. 

Sadly and truthfully we are creatures of habit, or pattern.  And sometimes we need someone to come along and persuade us artfully and skillfully so as to change that pattern.

So am I manipulating people by using my methods?

 Based on my definition of manipulation, hell Yes! 

Are my methods dangerous, immoral and vile?

Hell no!

I’m still waiting for someone to artfully and effectively persuade me that my art of persuasion is evil.  So far the people who have been emailing me in an attempt to persuade this Persuasion Artist to not use persuasion evidently need to work on their persuasion skills.

HEY!  What are Your Thoughts About Persuasion and Manipulation?
Leave Me A Comment and Lets Chat

-Bill

Popularity: 3% [?]